Friday, January 16, 2009

The Stomach Bug

Sorry for my two day Hiatus. I fell victim to a stomach bug. If I'm too sick to touch food, then I'm too sick to touch the computer. I watched a lot of 'Buffy' and 'Smallville'. The upside: I might have lost a few pounds. Okay maybe one.

Do you like the new banner. Go over and tell the Token Fat Girl how much.

Two days ago, at a book reading, a wave of nausea crept up on me. I realized that I hadn't eaten for seven hours, but hunger had left the building. When the reading ended I started having the chills. On the way home I stopped at the bodega for a two vitamin waters then crawled and shivered my way into bed. Before sleep came I had drank one. The next morning I still felt bad and not hungry at all. I was starving by 8pm last night, but I didn't want to give in to my pangs because If I ate, then the only benefit of a stomach flu-losing a few pounds-is lost.

Hunger is a survival mechanism, just like breathing and thirst. I know it's crucial yet I wish I could turn it off at will. There are people, like my sister, who do not feel hungry, or if they do it is easily satiated. These are the people who eat whatever they want and they just stop, as if affected by a magical force. Who are these people and can I borrow some DNA from them. I've tried to imagine this feeling but can't seem to evoke a constant feeling of fullness. I fight myself everyday to feel that. I'm not saying that I want to have a sudden case of anorexia; that's on the same level as obsessive eating. I just want to feel full on it's own, not because of a viral attack.

We all have something to deal with: my sister permed her hair, mine was naturally curly. These naturally thin people should have chin fuzz.

No comments: