First I'd like to say thanks to all my new readers. I appreciate all the support. And shout out to my reader in Atlanta, Ga. for being the best fan, and friend, a girl could have.(I am talking you, Miss M.C.R.)
So today's topic is Fear.
Poverty week has me eating salad, hummus, and PB and SJ(Strawberry Jam) sandwiches. Kinda boring but I feel that this is good for me. Food should not be the center of my world; I don't work for the Food Network.
Last night I stayed at my friend's place who doesn't know how to just throw a meal together. Everything requires cooking and chopping plus always tastes good. He prepared Bean Burritos with spicy guacamole, fresh bread, and veggies with blue cheese. I wasn't terribly hungry but I ate anyway then felt the fear takeover. I thought I had vanquished my fear issues, but it seems they come up at times. I worry that their won't be enough food or feel like I have to load up because I won't be fed again. This worked for Neanderthal man, but not for Manhattan woman who never has burn more than 50 calories to obtain sustenance.
Another example of the Food Fear Factor at the 116th and Fredrick Doughlas Rite Aid:
The poverty diet works because I cannot afford anything like Easter candy. Yea!! Oh but I wanted it so bad the other night at the Rite Aid. They had the 'Hersey's Candy Coated' Chocolate Eggs, my other favorite which I had not had this season. I only had 9 dollars for gum, diet soda, and tampons. Good tampons are expensive!! DAMM. I never noticed before. Then the evil fear thoughts started: What if they don't have them anymore? Get this bag and then you wont buy anymore till next year. That's bull you will totally get more this year. Don't give in. ARGH! Go eat some spinach both of you crazy people living in my head.
Anyone else motivated by fear when it comes to eating.
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3 comments:
Are you kidding fear motivates almosr every decision I make. Working on it though. Loved your post, I've been reading for a little bit now. I am glad that I really don't like chocolate. I just love the Easter rolls, potatoes, ham....you get the picture. Poverty is also a great motivator, and teacher I think. I know I always learn something new after I bad money times. good luck to you. I will keep reading.
I used to experience fear about food in this way, that there wouldn't be enough -- even if I cooked the meal myself, I would always cook waaaay more than we could eat at one meal because I would be afraid there wouldn't be enough. I had to be able to SEE that there was, indeed, enough food for me to eat as much as I might need in order to relax and just have my meal. And this was back in the days when I WASN'T overweight! I wasn't overeating, I just needed to know that I could have more food if I was still hungry. I was more likely to freak out and overeat if I was afraid of being hungry.
I think this fear came from my days as being a single mom and very poor and often I did not have enough food to eat until hunger was satisfied.
But, I also think that some of this fear we feel around food stems from our tendencies to "last chance eat" -- that insane eating that we do right before we go on a diet, telling ourselves that once we start the diet, this food (whatever it is) will be off-limits and we won't be able to have it so we better have it now, while we can. Perhaps we train ourselves to think this way about candy, cookies, or whatever food will be off-limits during the diet.
It's tough to break that training and stop feeling that sort of near-panic over food, or lack of it. Maybe we should give ourselves reasons to eat and permission to eat instead of excuses to eat. Maybe then some of our weird fears about running out of holiday chocolate would dissipate. :)
When we got out of the poverty diet, the fear of not having enough food still stays with me. Whenever high calorie snacks will be on sale, I buy it! I keep thinking that I should prepare ourselves just in case.
I like buying good quality food, but I'm also a realist. It's the high calorie foods that store better. The enconomy isn't great, there is no such thing as a "secure" job and I am storing food away.
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