Think like a dog...

A thought occurred to me as I walked Sebastian, to the park the other day: He never thinks about what he looks like. . Sebastian doesn't think he is attractive or unattractive-he just is. Sebastian never worries about the extra two pounds he gained in the last two years which is probably my fault. He lives in the moment. He's always happy. I envy his uncomplicated mental state.

How can I learn to be more like him? How can I learn to just be?

Part of the problems I have with food relate to my obsession with it and my body. Is it possible to not think about it. That's what naturally thin people I know do. When they are hungry they realize they should eat. They eat; they are not hungry. They resume the business of living. It is statistically impossible to not feel a false hunger when 70 percent of my waking thoughts revolve around when and what I will eat. Is this just the genetic strand I was given. How can this be overcome?

Brookhaven Obesity Clinic

I went to Baltimore for the New Year.  I don't have cable so I am clueless when it comes to all the reality shows on TLC and Bravo, etc.  On New Year's Day my friend flipped channels with her usual apathy.  We landed upon a New Year's Day marathon of  "Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic." The show, peppered with previews for Half-Ton Teen, Mom, and Dad, focused on 75 of America's most Obese people.   These people weigh more than 400-450 pounds. 

Mike Hebrenko, had lost 800 pounds twenty years ago; he started to regain two days after hitting his goal weight.  He forgot that food addiction is like alcoholism-it is never cured. In 2003 when the show was filmed he was a resident at Brookhaven weighing over 500 pounds.  This man is considered the most famous fat man in America.   He lost the weight using the motivation and techniques of Richard Simmons(Is he still alive?), then became teacher's pet to the perky fitness guru.  

Yes, Mr. Simmons is still alive and according to his website he will be teaching and motivating until he arrives at the 'pearly gates.'  I think G-d will sponsor daily trips to hell for Richard and Andy Gibb.  Andy will sing Shadow Dancing while Richard makes those poor souls 'Sweat to the Oldies.'  

Back to the show which put a few things in perspective for me.

I shouldn't obsess too much about 20-30 pounds when there are people out their trying to loose 200+.  Some of the folks on my blogroll have been or are in that position.   Also, I should be positive about my accomplishment: I've lost 90 pounds and, for the past four years, have kept fifty of those pounds off.  

I liked Mr. Hebrenko for the most part.  I understand how easy it is to regain the weight.  But, for part of the show, he looked to others for the answers and tried to put blame elsewhere.  Many of the shows participants blamed work, stress, etc.

 

I know there are people dealing with serious issues, but in the end, unless someone puts a gun to my head with each bite, I am the one who controls what I put into my body.  

All I need to know about Food I learned...

From Skiing. Yes, you all knew that was coming.

The last day of skiing that I spoke about revealed some things in how I relate to food.

As you all know I went out early in the morning for a few runs. It was a beautiful morning. I skied blue(intermediate) runs with exceptional technique. My friend and I decided to share a lift ticket to save money so I knew I had be done by noon. I came back to the room at 10am, ate my peanut butter sandwich and felt done, felt full. We were leaving early the next day.

My friend woke up and told me I had another hour and half before he needed the ticket. I sat on the couch with the my ski-boots and ski-pants still on. Maybe I'll go out for one more run.

I realized that behavior was much like my relationship to food. Sitting on the couch was akin to stalking an oven, fork and knife in hand, waiting for another bite of perfection to fly out and onto my plate. Just as a perfect run can not be duplicated, the next bite is never as exquisite as the one that sent shivers through the tongue.

The problem with a food addicts like me is that we are always looking to warm ourselves with food. We are always trying to experience the same bliss from bite to bite.

The important step is that I recognize it.