Not Thinking about it works!

So I stepped on the scale at work a few days ago.... survey says...162lbs. I am a few weeks away from seeing the underside of 160. I haven't been there in 4 years. My size 10 jeans fit and so many of my post-makeover clothes will soon be liberated from their hangers.

This weekend I am hanging with my parents, niece, and dog in Newburg(about 2 hours north of NYC) and I am getting good exercise. My parents, having battled their own bulge with Weight Watchers, eat small portions and low-fat snacks.

I guess my one concern would be that, now, since I am aware of my success, I may subconsciously go the other way. Now, through my work during the writing of this blog, I am aware of this tendency, therefore I will fight against it. Size 8 here I come....

-Happy 4th everyone!
Pic from one of my first blog entries.

My first 5 mile run

I did my first 5 mile run in Central Park on Saturday. I had a lot of fun but I noticed a trend in myself that I am not sure is a good or bad thing. The park is very hilly which saps my strength, so I tend not to overexert myself with the intention of saving some for later. When I hit the last mile I knew I was going to finish and finish well under my goal time. I finished sprinting and felt I had more in me. A lot more. My friend, who doesn't run regularly, joined me in the race. Today he is sore, every muscle hurts. I feel fine. Should exercise exhausted me? Will I only progress to the next level if I feel some burn?

Next month I am doing a 4 mile run benefitting Central Park, my favorite place in the world. For my training I will focus on running up the hills. My goal for the entire 4 miles is not to walk.

I ran/walked the 5 miles yesterday in 1 hour 02-minutes and 40 seconds. That's a 12:32 pace. I know I can do better than that. But it was my first official run so I am happy with my performance.

Live and Enjoy

I love food and I love to workout, so that's good. One balances the other. I would like to get to a point that I can stop obsessing about food and exercise. I feel that lately I get so crazy about checking my weight and clothing and heart rate. When can I get to the place where I am just me. Doing what I want to do. With the blog's help I discovered I had to give up the dairy and chocolate. When can I just be a person that eats certain foods when she is hungry and stops when she is full. When can I just be a person who runs for forty minutes. I am always thinking about the next hurdles: run the 5K then a 10K, then the marathon, climb the 5.6 then the 5.7. Can't I just live in the moment when it comes to food and exercise.

Does living in the moment remove goal-oriented thinking? Is this a bad thing? Would I be able to do both. Live in the moment and have goals.

All the major granola crunchy spiritualities boast that living in the moment opens doors to lifelong bliss. But then if I am blissful all the time it doesn't matter what I do next. Or does it? Where is the line between ambition and obsession

Trying to wrap my cranium around this one.

Dangling on a precipice: The Roadblock

It's Sunday night, I've had a hard week and I am trying to psyche myself back into my routine. I was doing so well, but my female issues which I've dealt with over the last two months came to a head and required some minor surgery. I wish I had a weak stomach, but alas, I am that obnoxious person who can wake from anesthesia, eat a chili-cheese dog, then ride the cyclone at Coney Island with nary a hiccough. Therefore any benefit gained from my forced fast was lost when I came home and ate Empire Schezuan, the finest Veggie Pork Purveyor in all of NYC. Just because it's not real pig doesn't exclude the soy from being processed and dripping with oil. Such Yummy Goodness, baby. Post-operative Vegan Soul Comfort Food

I skipped out on two Boot Camps this week. One I was exhausted from the month long leakeage in my nether parts on Wednesday, slept all Thursday, and had the procedure on Friday. I've spent the weekend slightly overeating take out because my mom sent me a check for, well, take out. All vegan, so that's a good thing.

I wish I didn't have to obsess about what I put in my mouth. But I am just one of those obnoxious people who take comfort eating to a new heights. If I didn't have the blog I might be comforting myself till next month.

I'll be strict again... as soon as I finish this Mexican Salad from Blockheads. Loaded with Guacamole which is loaded with fat. Good fat, but still fat.

Peace. Tomorrow I will discuss High Fructose Corn Syrup. Why is it so bad.

Shockley's Ceiling

Had bootcamp last night. Sergeant ordered 50 of the sadistic squats that seared my thighs. To her credit she'd rather us do the exercise with the proper form even if that means some of us would only do half. She wants a quality squat leading to quality burn. She even threatened us with extra if just one of use performed it incorrectly. Then we did push-ups. 20 sets of 20 second intervals with 10 seconds of rest. I like to do man push-ups just to prove that I can, but in this case my man form carried me for...um...10 seconds. I switched to femine style. Which lead me to the title of this entry. The why of my quest for toned arms and strong thighs: Rock Climbing.

I am majorly, totally, butt-crazy in love with Rock Climbing. I jumped out of a plane twice. I rafted Class 4 rapids. I hiked with the Jaguars. But nothing is more interesting and fun than Rock Climbing. The sport combines style, strength, and science while forcing one to conquer their fears like falling and spiders. However, it's an expensive proposition for a city-girl: two hour drive, rental car, guide. I went up to the The Gunks about two weeks ago. We did a chimney route, Shockley's Ceiling. Hoisting myself over the overhang proved to be a problem. I tried three times, only making it halfway. With my biceps quivering like jello, I conceded to the rock and asked for an assist. My only thought as I piloted the Zipcar onto the New York State Thruway, "I will be back. And I will climb that without aid."

So that's why I pay this woman to order me around like the inferior weakling I am.

Never thought I'd ever say...Can I do a lap instead.

Boot Camp Report Day 2

We did a military run in which the leader sets the pace, then the last person sprints to the front and becomes the leader. Rotate through so that everyone gets to lead and we make it around the great lawn with "No Man left behind." My group ran a 4:45, 15 seconds shy of our goal. Sergeant Stacy asked if we wanted to go around again or do 25 squat thrusts. Someone said squat thrusts.

I will describe the Squat Thrust, a new form of torment thrust upon me by Sergeant Stacy. I bend over, into a squat, place my hand on either side of my feet then shoot them behind me into a plank position. I then jump them forward, returning to the squat and standing up. Bend, Thrust, Repeat, and hope to contain the gaseous remnants of my pre-workout beans. Then some people showed up late. 25 more squat thrusts for all of us. Arggh! I think I understand how hazing happens.

Throughout our hour of squatting, and all it's forms, I questioned my dedication to the task. After my pickled arms could not support my legs, I rested. But, I thought, is this really the limit or can I squeeze out one more squat. I'd only rest for seconds then move forward. As I write this, I wonder, have I always pushed myself to my limits?

I know I have in skiing and snowboarding. What about rock climbing, or even Physical Therapy. I should have good abs after PT, but today I fought for every Jackhammer. Two weeks ago, I gave up on an overhang move on a the rock, knowing there was no way. My arms had not yet reached the jelly stage, but somehow I knew it was futile to keep trying. That's not my normal m.o. Hmmm things for me to ponder.

I ended the hour doing monkey crawls, another hideous exercise for the arms and legs. I was the last one to finish. I asked the assistant if I could do a lap instead. He said no?

Today's Positives:
I can lunge without tipping over? The aforementioned assistant told me to imagine pushing myself into the ground. And it worked. I did 45 push ups, 10 standard, 35 girl. And still took the dog out for a minor jog when I got home.

Thanks for all the support, Everyone. Have a wonderful evening.

I thought I was in Shape....

But then I took a Boot Camp Class, which as I sort of expected proved to me how little strength I have. My arms are jelly right now, and I want to hit my bed, but am determined to blog. On the upside I was one of the top 10 runners.

Some backstory, then a picture.
Sorry about my two month absence. Once I figured out that I really was a food addict and discovered my trigger foods I was actually afraid to blog about my progress. I worried I might have gone in a spiral again. On April 1 I chose to become, for the last time,a vegan. I was always a vegetarian but would weave in and out of dairy consumption as my desires did. I would loose weight when I omitted the cheese and chocolate, but then once I got to a nice place I'd consume again. Once I realized my pattern and embraced the emotional reasons for my yo-yo behavior, I made that choice to never eat an animal based food. I see now, that, for me, dairy consumption coats me in a layer of fat. I cannot control myself.

So I have made progress. In January I weighed 182 at the doctor. This morning I weighed 165. I am about one week of sit-ups, crunches, and squats from my size 10 Ann Taylor Jeans. The poverty diet gave me a good jump start. On April 1st it hit me that I was one month away from my best friend's wedding. And I too was going to walk down the aisle and stand with her. My dress(she let us choose our own, black being the only requirement, she rocks) I wore one year ago at 165 pounds. I started jogging every day and, I admit, cut back on my portions for some rapid weight loss-about 10 pounds in that month. Now I am a bit more relaxed about it.

I eat about six times per day. No big meals, all vegan, mostly raw, and only fruit in the morning. This is what works for me. I can still have fake cheese and fake meat, which I love, and carob or dark cocoa to satisfy my inner chocoholic. I swear I am only a B cup. This dress lovingly lifts and shapes the boobs.

Now I have my fitness goals which led me to Stacy's Bootcamp. Today was the first day. We start with a 10 minute jog. Then the mega-fit Stacy orders us to get down and do sit-up, for a minute--OH MY-then push-ups, then crunches, then laps, sprints. You get the idea. I needed to shake up my routine. And the best part, it's all in Central Park, my favorite place in the world.

On another happy note-I had injections in my back for my Herniated Disk, did my Physiotherapy, lost weight and now I have no pain. And likely I will not need surgery if I get back down to 140.

So that's all for now. Here I am with "Weird Al" at 180. My face holds a lot of Weight.